Relationships.

So this past weekend I got to thinking about relationships. I’ve been listening to the song “Beloved” by Tenth Avenue North and it has quickly become one of my favorite songs. A line from the song is:

 “chasing lovers it won’t satisfy…”

Relationships. We worry about them all the time; if we are in them, if we aren’t, if we’ve had many, or if we’ve had zero. When you’re in relationships you feel on top of the world and when you aren’t in one you feel like something’s wrong with you. It’s like you have a sign that says ‘Leprosy’ on your forehead and everyone can see it. For a very long time I struggled with this topic. I found that especially in junior high, high school, and college you have this intense need to feel wanted by somebody. You feel like if you just had a relationship with someone you would be whole and you would have everything you need. You feel like if you were in a relationship then everything would fall into place, you’d become the best possible version of yourself, and you wouldn’t have worries anymore. Chasing lovers is an easy but temporary place holder for feelings of happiness and completeness. I lived thinking worldly relationships could satisfy me for a long time. Granted sometimes I still feel that way but I’m on my way to getting where I need to go. Then I got to thinking about my relationship with Christ. Sure, it was good but was it as good as it could be? I always felt this empty feeling inside and had blamed it on not having worldly relationships but really could it have been because of my half-hearted relationship with God? Sure it’s wonderful to be in a relationship with someone. I am in no way looking down on people in relationships. I just believe that your relationship with Christ should be #1 before you even think about being in a relationship and once you are in a relationship I believe Christ should be the center of it. It’s so easy to want a relationship just because it’s nice to say you’re in one, but then once you’re in one you really get to see people and figure out who they are. As human beings, it is our downfall that we will always disappoint. No matter how much you don’t mean to or no matter how hard you try you will always disappoint and you will always be disappointed if you are looking for fulfillment in worldly relationships. With God, he never EVER disappoints you. He will never hurt you or leave you out to dry. He will never tell you that you’re not good enough. He will NEVER reject you. That is why once you are in a relationship make God the center of it. You are his child and all he wants to do is love you. The hardest part is having the courage to love Christ back. And not just with half of your heart, but with ALL of it. It’s a scary thing. Just letting go and falling in love with Jesus but it is also one of the most beautiful things you can encounter. Sure it’s not easy. You are going to struggle but God is there to help you with those struggles and to help you learn from them. I am nowhere near where I need to be in my relationship with Christ but I’m trying my hardest to get there. If you are hurting or confused about a relationship please just pray about it. Pray for peace and contentment. Pray to fall deeply in love with Christ. I’ve only recently begun to do this and honestly I’ve never felt so at peace. It’s beautiful. You are in the season you’re in because God knows its right for you. As Proverbs 16:9 says “We make our own plans but the Lord decides where we will go.” What a spiritual slap to the face huh?! Just try to remember that though. We are so arrogant in thinking we know what’s best for us but we don’t. Just fall in love with Christ and let him take care of things. Besides let’s be real here. Who knows more? You or the creator of the universe? Yeah. I know. Another spiritual slap to the face, but sometimes that’s just what you need. I thought I’d share this because maybe someone else is going through a similar situation. I hope this helps. Always remember that YOU are a child of God. YOU are Christ’s bride. He will love you to the end of the world and back. There could NEVER be a more beautiful you. God made you for a purpose and there is nothing that you could EVER do that could separate you from God’s love. NOTHING.

Well thanks for listening to my rant. If you’ve made it this far I just want to thank you! This kind of turned out to be a novel. I also just want to leave you with a poem I found online. It’s wonderful. Just think about it and pray about it. You are worth more than you could ever know to God!

The world conspires and says to me

I have to seize what I can see,

And give my life and heart today

To love not guaranteed to stay.

It feels so tempting to accept

This thought that my sane mind rejects,

For though security’s not giv’n,

A temp’ral love still sounds like heav’n.

It’s hard to hold myself against

The charm that my soft heart had sensed;

It’s hard to trustingly forego

Affections they now seems to show.

The time’s not right; I know this well,

Yet still in me emotions swell.

“Lord, can’t I take them, just for now?

If it’s Your will, You’ll show us how.”

Then God replied in tenderness,

So firmly, “Child, would I give less?

Would I give less than what is best,

When I have given you the rest?

“There is a story kept for you,

A story written for your due,

I wrote it with My loving hand,

It’s best—though not what you demand.

“There’ll come the day when you will see

A person made for you by Me;

I know it’s hard to let things be,

Yet I want you to wait on Me.

“If they should be the one for you,

Then let me mold both of you two

Until you’re ready for that day

For love committed e’er to stay.

“If it should be another one,

Then do not rush before I’m done;

In case you love someone untrue,

Someone I hadn’t made for you.

“Just trust Me, child, I love you so,

My love is all you need to know;

Would I retain from you the rest,

When I have given you My best?”