Worn

"I'm tired, I'm worn, my heart is heavy from the work it takes to keep on breathing, I've made mistakes, I've let my hope fail, my soul feels crushed by the weight of this world..."

This lyric has been residing in me this morning. Man, I sure am tired. Not the "I-just-woke-up-and-hate-mornings-because-they're-the-worst" kind of tired but more like the "mind, body, and soul" are tired. We're getting to the end of the semester and by this point school is wearing on everyone. I find myself multiple times a week saying "Why am I here? I'm dropping out of school and running away to the mountains of Calcutta!"It sounds pretty great. (Well actually I'm not sure about the whole Calcutta part. I haven't really done any research about the mountains there or thought about whether unskilled outdoors-woman Jenny Joffer could survive there so I'll keep you updated.) Regardless, the thought of dropping all responsibility and just having rest sounds wonderful. I'll be sitting in class and my teachers' voices start to sound like resounding gongs and instead of listening to what they're saying I'll be worrying about big assignments that are coming up. After I do that I feel overwhelmed and tired and basically like "woe is me." This is me only touching on the school aspect of life and I feel run down already. We can't forgot to mention things like family, friends, boys, faith, money, job....the list could go on and on. There are all these external things that can just bring you down. But there is hope at the end of the tunnel...

"I know that you can give me rest, so I cry out with all that I have left, let me see redemption win, let me know the struggle ends, that you can mend a heart that's frail and torn, I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life, that all that's dead inside can be reborn..."

In God we can have rest. We can be filled up and renewed. How beautiful is that. In the middle of this little mess we call life, God is here with us every step of the way. When I feel stressed or overwhelmed about something I go to God in prayer asking him to help me trust him and praying that I can have a sense of peace in my heart. The wonderful thing about that is, it works. Seriously, I will be going from pretty much a full-blown panic attack to "Okay cool, God's got this." He's just so neat like that. Maybe you're like "Jenny, I mean that's cool and all that praying to God can calm your restless heart but I want to actually hear God speaking to me." Well then my friends it's your lucky day because you can hear God speaking to you....through the bible! A certain verse comes to mind when thinking about feeling worn:

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~Matthew 11:28

Say what?! Did God just offer to give me rest? Ummm I volunteer as tribute because rest sounds wonderful in my life. Now am I trying to say that if you pray to God about this and dig in his word you will always feel rejuvenated? Sadly, no. We are all human and sinful in nature and so no matter how hard we try we will always fall short but the good news is that we have a God who loves us despite of these downfalls and he will help us to earnestly seek him. This life won't always be merciful and loving towards us but the good news is that we have a God who always will be.

Here is the song:

And here is an awesome message from Mike Donehey, the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North, about being worn: